Sex starts in your brain, so pay close attention to what’s going on in your head, and get help when you need it. Depression, for example, is a serious illness that disrupts many parts of daily life, and it can hamper sexual desire. Between ages 40 and 70, men with depression are likely to also have ED. Chronic stress, which raises your blood pressure and overworks your heart, is another libido killer. Some premenopausal women who seem uninterested in sex may be suffering from a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). In addition, drugs bremelanotide (Vyleesi) and flibanserin (Addyi) to improve a woman’s sex drive. It’s almost important to note that regular vigorous exercise improves your heart’s ability to pump blood. That’s important for sex, because a strong erection needs plenty of blood flow into your penis. Work up a sweat for 20 to 30 minutes each day and you’ll be a lot less likely to fail to launch. If you’re not used to exercise, start slowly. Brisk walking is an ideal workout, and your whole body will benefit. If you're over age 45 or have a medical condition, check with your doctor.
While no one food will boost your sexual performance, eating the right types of foods, and in the right amounts, will keep you healthy and ready for sex. Focus on vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean meats, and fish. Pay close attention to portion size. A healthy diet helps protect against heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and other chronic conditions that can affect sex.
Carrying extra pounds can be a problem. Over time, too much fat can lead to clogged arteries and poorer blood flow. That makes it tougher for your penis to get the blood it needs for a healthy erection. Combine exercise and a healthy diet to bring your weight down to where it should be.
Men who quit smoking say they have better erections and faster arousal than men who don’t kick the habit. Men who smoke are twice as likely to have ED than non-smokers. Consider the benefits you’ll reap in the bedroom and stop smoking now. If you've tried before, keep trying until it sticks.
There are many physical causes of ED. Any one of these can disrupt the sequence of physiological changes that produces an erection: They include -
Hypertension (high blood pressure)
Sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea
The hormone testosterone affects a person’s sex drive and energy levels, which govern arousal impulses to the brain. Diabetes can also damage the nerves that signal increased blood flow to the genital area. According to the American Diabetes Association, a man with type 2 diabetes is twice as likely to have low testosterone compared to a man that doesn’t have diabetes. Your doctor can test for nerve damage related to diabetes and low testosterone. Also, any constriction of blood flow from heart disease and artery blockages would hamper an erection.
ED isn’t necessarily related to age or chronic illnesses.
Other common causes include:
Heavy alcohol consumption
Alcohol slows nerve communications within the brain and throughout the body, which can affect arousal signals and physical coordination.
Tobacco not only restricts blood flow, but can lead to serious diseases that may further impair sexual function.
Medications can also affect people differently. A drug that decreases sexual performance in one person might not in another.
Common types of drugs that may lead to sexual dysfunctions include:
Calcium channel blockers
High blood pressure medications
Psychological and emotional stressors can also inhibit sexual arousal.
Nervous about tomorrow’s sales presentation at work? Grieving a parent’s death? Angry or hurt by arguments with your spouse? Any of these can interfere with your feelings of sexual desire.
If you regularly skimp on sleep, you become more likely to get chronic health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes, obesity, and mood disorders. Missing sleep can also slow down your sex drive; lost sleep has been linked to lower levels of testosterone in younger and older men. Make sleep a priority. If your sleep problems don't budge, see your doctor. Physical conditions like obstructive sleep apnea can be treated, as can ongoing problems with insomnia.
If you do have trouble in the bedroom, the cause may be in your medicine cabinet. Talk to your doctor about any medications you take, even if you didn't need a prescription for them.
Other medications are often available that won't cause similar side effects and may do the job just as well and cause fewer problems.
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Most importantly, healthy sexuality is about understanding who you are and what you are into as a sexual being and being able to manifest episodes of sexual experience that’s gratifying. It’s about knowing your body and how it responds to certain stimuli and if you have a partner it’s about them knowing it too. Some of us are very self-aware and have no problems communicating but there are others of us who shy away from the key things that can help enhance our sexual pleasure.
Sex coaching is a relatively new industry, but it exists for a reason. Traditionally, if couples had trouble, they would see a marriage or relationship therapist to help fix what’s wrong. Most therapist aren’t trained in sexual issues and can tend to assert their personal values as a result.
Traditionally, if couples had trouble, they would see a marriage or relationship therapist to help fix what’s wrong. Most therapist aren’t trained in sexual issues and can tend to assert their personal values as a result. As therapy is intended to address mental dysfunction any sexual concerns will likely also be looked at as a dysfunction. They want to help you fix what’s wrong. Sometimes all we need is for someone to listen and not try and figure out how our parents screwed us up.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. I am a fan of therapy for mental issues but not for sexual issues. Are you having the best sex you can, as often as you can and in all the ways you like for it to be done? Does your partner feel the same way? If not, do you talk about it? Can you talk about it?
My call to action for this community is to stop not talking about it. It’s too important for your healthy sexuality. If you need help, I could be that coach for you, what are you waiting for? You can reach me on firstname.lastname@example.org by mail and @DOYOUKNKY on all social media platforms!
Join me and let’s work together to end the shame around wanting to have better sex.