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It's estimated that 70% of females cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation. For some females, indirect stimulation of the clit from certain sexual positions, such as being on top, can bang out the O. Others need direct, prolonged stimulation during or separate from intercourse. This is normal and typical, and females should not feel ashamed of needing or asking for clitoral stimulation. You can handle it yourself manually or with a vibrator or have your partner chime in with fingers, tongue or even the head of a penis or dildo.

Males may enjoy sex when it lasts longer, both because this allows pleasure to build over time and because it increases the odds that female partners will have time to orgasm. Deep breathing may help a male delay ejaculation, as can slowing down when the sensations become too intense.

For people who find it difficult to get or maintain an erection, exercise may improve blood flow, improving an erection and sexual performance. Medications for E.D such as sildenafil (Viagra) may also be helpful. I actively promote The Tripod, penis enhancement pump, available at

People may find that using a sexual lubricant decreases friction, improving sex. Pelvic floor exercises strengthen the muscles that play a role in orgasm, potentially helping both males and females have stronger orgasms and better control over the timing of orgasm.

To exercise the pelvic floor, try tightening the muscles that stop the stream of urine. Some people practice this by stopping and starting again when using the bathroom. Gradually build up to holding the position for 10 seconds or longer, and repeat it throughout the day.

Some people may need to meet with a physical therapist, who can give them tips and advice on how to improve and fully enjoy sex.

There is no “right” way to feel about sex and no correct way to have sex. People can experience sexual pleasure from a wide range of positions, types of sex, and sexual fantasies. Open communication, self-acceptance, and a willingness to seek help when something does not work can promote sexual pleasure and reduce stigma.

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